Beast Boy! Change you can count on!
by KF fan
Summary: The Titans, Titans East and the auxiliary members are at the Tower watching the returns on election night and feeling proud of the democratic process when it suddenly occurs to everyone. Why aren't our leaders elected? This story is what might happen.
1. Chapter 1

It was so obvious.

Duh!

Why not us, too?

But none of them had planned for it to happen.

It just sort of did.

It was election night 2008 and all the Titans were gathered at Titans Tower in Jump City. Titans East were all there and so were most of the auxiliary members, old and new. Wonder Girl, Red Star, Super Boy, Gnark, Kole, Arrowette, Argent, Hot Spot, Herald and others. There was excitement in the air. Everyone knew what the polls were saying. There would be the country's first african american president. And there would be a young president. That seemed good in itself. They were the _Teen_ Titans, after all.

Some of the Titans most impressed with the whole process were those of exotic origins, like Aqualad, Herald and Red Star. The Atlantean, in particular was effusive in his praise for the process finally wondering aloud about the wisdom of Atlantis being an absolute monarchy.

Even the Titans who seemed to be supporting McCain acknowledged the historic nature of the occasion and how wonderful it was that the process was so orderly. As the returns rolled in, everyone watched on the giant screen in the great room in a festive atmosphere. And when the various networks called the election for Obama, a cheer went up at Titans Tower. And as the festive mood was winding down a bit, Robin stood up in front of most of the crowd and started talking about how great a night it was.

" . . . And power will be transferred without a fight or bullets flying. The people spoke in a free election and their will is respected. That's the way it's supposed to be."

Everyone agreed. There was clapping and smiles all around.

Then Beast Boy asked the question.

"But, uh, Dude? How did you get to be leader?"

"Well . . it just sort of . . happened," answered Robin.

An odd sort of hush fell over the room. Robin could tell it hadn't gone over well. They were all thinking the same thing. He could see it in their eyes as they all glanced around, brows furrowed. If it's good enough for everyone else . . .

He saw immmediately where things were going. That was his special knack, strategies, predicting how things might go and preparing for them. Thankfully, Arrowette asked it again.

"How did you get to be leader?"

He tried to mollify the crowd. "Things just fell into place that way. Titans Tower was rising from the bay and the leadership role came to me as if pushed by natural currents."

There was a moment's pause, a split second when Robin thought the issue might be dropped. But they just haaaaad to make fun of him.

"You don't get executive power from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" snapped Kid Flash, stepping forth from the crowd.

"Wally!" Robin groaned.

"It derives from a mandate from the masses."

"Wally!"

"If I went around saying I should be the head of the Justice League because the tide went out a certain way, I wouldn't get very far, would I?"

"Wally!"

The chuckles of the other onlooker heroes were irritating Robin. He gave Kid Flash a small push to have him back up. Kid Flash, play acting, fell to the ground with a shout. "Come see the violence inherent in the system!" Speedy, who enjoyed a Monty Python sketch or two himself, helped Kid Flash to his feet in such a way that he was almost forced back into colliding with Robin. When Robin pushed back just slightly, Kid Flash, again, flopped dramatically to the ground, with another shout.

"Help! I'm being repressed!"

Robin was now a combination of exasperation and embarassment. He had both hands up demanding to be regarded as innocent.

"I barely touched him," and adding "He's-he's my best friend," as though they didn't all know.

But the genie was out of the bottle and could not be returned. One party in particular made sure of it. Bee stepped forward from the crowd of teen heroes toward Robin.

"It would be pretty hypocritical of us to salute elections for the general populace but not have them ourselves, don't you think, Robin?"

Yeahs and sures and of courses were muttered and spoken all over the room by everyone in attendance. If it had been a voice vote, it would have been near unanimous. Only Robin held out. As much as he understood that it was right, he felt defensive about the whole thing.

"I-I hope no one's dissatisfied with my leadership. I give everything to the team," said the still diminutive crime fighter.

"No one's really questioning that, streetlight. But why not put it to a vote?" Bee suggested silkily.

There were assenting grunts, nods and "yeah"s from the assembled heroes.

"You want to just vote right now, after 5 seconds' thought about who should be overall Titans leader?!"

Now the murmur of forty odd voices was on his side. Bee, sensing this, turned on a dime.

"No. You're right. There should be a campaign," said Bee.

This elicited more nods and grunts of assent, but no one could agree right away on how it should be handled. And then pockets of the crowd broke into arguments about what qualities the Titans' leader should have. One faction was adamant that the leader should be tough, should be able to make difficult decisions always with the team's best interests in mind. Another faction thought the most important thing was that the leader was cool and understood the feelings of everyone so as to be able to render decisions that were fair to them.

Beast Boy stepped forth the crowd. Teen heroes had roughly formed into two circles of conversation and the combined din of discussion and argument was so great that it was becoming harder and harder to hear even the hero next to you speaking.

"People! People!!" he bellowed before turning himself into an elephant and trumpeting loud enough that the glass of the windows rattled. He then turned back into Beast Boy.

"People. Why don't we do this the way that they do it," he said pointing to the screen where someone had one representative each of the Democrats and Republicans flanking him for an interview. A few teen heroes suggested that they should break up into democrats and republicans but were shouted down by more voices not wanting to be associated with either group of politicians.

The conversation broke into two large groups talking about what qualitites a leader should have. Voices were getting louder and louder as everyone felt encouraged to speak their piece. Finally, Beast Boy shouted over the din.

"People! People!! . . . . Thank you! Okay. You people over there," said Beast Boy pointing to the group including Robin, Pantha, Aqualad, Gnark, Wonder Girl and some other heroes, "think that the leader should be . . "

"Tough," said Pantha. "He must be willing and able to work harder than anyone and make the tough decisions."

"Okay," said Beast Boy. "That's one party. The Tough Party."

Raven rolled her eyes and Jinx buried her face in her hand, snickering on Kid Flash's shoulder.

"And you people over here," said Beast Boy, gesturing to an equally large group centered around Bee, Speedy, Arrowette, Hot Spot, Starfire and some other heroes, "think that the leader should be . . "

"Cool," said Hot Spot. "I know. Ironic. But he-or she," he quickly added glancing at Bee, "should be cool enough to understand the situation that everyone's coming from."

"Okay!" said Beast Boy, excitedly. "That's the other party. The Cool Party."

Jinx chuckled. "Oh my god. Those names are like something out of 5th grade,"she whispered in Kid Flash's ear.

In short order, Robin offered his candidacy on behalf of the "Tough" party and Bee offered hers on behalf of the "Cool" party.

"She has always wanted this," Jinx whispered in Wally's ear loud enough for Raven to hear as well. "Always. Trust me on this one."

That seemed to settle it except that Speedy, Arrowette, Beast Boy and some others thought that someone else should run for overall Titans leader other than one of the two people already serving as team leaders.

"Wally, what about you?" suggested Beast Boy to Kid Flash.

"Uh, no way. I'm married," said Kid Flash holding up Jinx's hand in his. "I'm doing, um, other things with my time."

There were smiles all around.

"Um . . Aqualad?"

"No thank you, Garfield. But it's very kind of you to suggest that it might be appropriate."

Gar sighed in frustration at being called "Garfield". Why did Aqualad always do that? He noded slowly. Okay. Who else, he wondered as Bee smiled at her amphibean teammate. That's right, she seemed to be telling him. You'd better not.

"Cyborg?"

"No thanks, greenie."

"Um . . Raven?"

The crowd turned to her as she shook her head in disgust. "Oh please, Beast Boy. Run yourself if you're so concerned that someone else should run."

"Well . . . alright! I will then! Fine! Does anyone else want to run for overall Titans leader?" He spun around to make sure he wasn't missing anyone in the room. "Anyone . . ? Anyone at all . . . . ?"

"Alright, then," said Beast Boy in the tone of an official announcement. "Robin, Bumblebee and I are running for overall Titans leader."

"Which party are you running in?" asked Bee with a smile.

"Oh . . the uh, the Cool Party," said Beast Boy and Bee's smile suddenly seemed very forced. "We'll meet back here in two weeks to have, like, the party conventions and then two weeks after that the general election."

Everyone nodded.


	2. Spobin with popcorn

The Titans said goodbye to the departing members of Titans East and the auxiliary members from the roof and the jets had just barely lifted off when Raven turned to Beast Boy.

"The Tough party and the Cool party?" she moaned.

"Alright, it could sound better."

"Not exactly a testimonial on behalf of your being leader," she muttered.

"Oh, go easy on green buns," chuckled Jinx from Wally's side where they leaned against each other as Beast Boy stomped off. "I think he was right that someone else had to run for it. We couldn't just have Bee and Robin."

"Fine. But the tough party and the cool party?"

"Is it any dumber than having a jackass or an elephant as your party's symbol?" asked Kid Flash.

"He's got you there, Raven," laughed Cyborg.

They all made their way to the elevators and then down to their rooms. Once inside their room, Wally immediately took Jinx in his arms and spun her around so that her back was against the door. He nibbled at her lower lip.

"Mmmm. I know what that means when mmmm you start mentioning mmmm guys' buns."

"Did you notice Dick?" she whispered as she availed herself of the contours of her husband.

"Whoa! And I thought you were horny when you mentioned buns-ow-!"  
She slapped him.

"Oh gods! To be called horny by you, mister zero refraction time! And you know what I meant. Robin. He was awful quiet wasn't he?"

"He's . . not exactly mister garrulous normally."

"I think he's taking this as a bit of a rejection by everyone."

"But that's not what it is!" he whispered, rubbing the end of his nose gently against hers trying to shift the focus of their discussion.

She chuckled and turned to one side.

"He's _your_ best friend!"

"Okay. I'll check on him . . later."

She gave him that stare, the one that said "You'd better mean it speedster! You're not just putting me off so that we can get it on!"

He nodded solemnly. She smiled.

And then they got it on.

Meanwhile, up on the 14th floor, Robin stared at the huge computer screen at the communications center console. The 72 inch screen displayed a case file entry with a slowly flashing cursor awaiting an entry for the barometric pressure at the time of the team's fight with a stray group of Immortus's flunkies two days before.

And Robin stared.

And he stared.

And he stared.

The patient little cursor flashed in place, waiting for an entry for half an hour. It waited while a motionless Robin recounted in excruciating Bat fashion every word said, every facial expression, every example of body language of his friends and colleagues. The patient little cursor didn't move on from it's position in the box for the entry of barometric pressure until a single bitterly muttered word, "Election!" passed the keyboard operator's lips.

And meanwhile, out by the water's edge of the tiny island on which Titans Tower stood, Beast Boy flipped the pages of a large book.

"Ehh. Giant prehistoric cockroach. Not that useful."

He flipped to the next page with a sigh. This was training and research for a changeling, finding new and useful forms to include in his repertoire. Books about prehistoric animals were particularly useful as many of the creatures depicted within were extremely powerful, even if they couldn't survive a giant asteroid striking the Yucatan peninsula and clouding the planet over for years. Luckily, that sort of thing seldom happened in the Titans' various fights.

Beast Boy, now more man than boy at six feet one half inch tall, flipped to the next page of the book.

"Ahhh! That's promising!" It was a prehistoric snake, incredibly long with a body nearly as thick as the fuselage of a jet airliner. He stared at the picture for several seconds than concentrated on the image of it in his head.

At that moment, a boat happened to be cruising in the bay halfway between the Tower's island and the Jump City financial district on the opposite edge of the bay. It was one of those boats that could carry a hundred or so people and that functioned as a floating series of bars so that couples could talk with the night time silhouette of the city in the background. Of course, Titans Tower was always a landmark to be pointed out by the captain. And, occasionally, there was something to see. Once, the T-Jet took off from the Tower and zoomed right over them. Another time, a boatful of tipsy onlookers gaped at the sight of Kid Flash sprinting across the bay right in front of them. At least, they were pretty sure it was Kid Flash. The blur was like a band of yellow on top of a band of red. But it had been a while since the captain of the Jump City Bay Cruiser had seen anything particularly interesting. He alerted the passengers, those who weren't yet blind drunk, to the presence of Titans Tower off the starboard side. But it just stood there, a silent T shaped sentinel. The boat turned in its usual spot and only a couple guys who'd made the novice drinker's mistake of starting off too fast could still see it from the ship's stern as the boat was finishing its turn. Two pals, both in their mid 20's, new to Jump City, working for an accounting firm and not drinkers, had tried to impress some of the long time employees of the firm. They didn't impress them much and certainly wouldn't if they puked as both now thought they might. As one bent over thinking he might retch, he took a deep breath realizing that he wasn't going to puke, at least not just then.

And that was when it rose out of the water, the head of a snake, 20 feet wide, with a mouth that could have swallowed him whole or maybe just used him to floss between its giant, razor sharp teeth.

He pointed at it, and turned frantically to his buddy. "S-s-s-s-s-sn-sn-sn-snaysnaysnay . . . snake! Snake!"

But his buddy had passed out.

He ran to get someone else from the group, nearly tearing the lapel of his jacket in the process. "Look!" he shouted, pointing behind the ship but not impressing his boss's secretary with the sight of the gently undulating surface of Jump City bay that presented itself. She raised one eyebrow and folded her arms.

"There was . . there was a sea monster!"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm still not sure who held his liquor worse, you or him," she said pointing to his passed out pal on the deck.

Beast Boy stepped back up on the island smiling to himself. "Sorry dude," he muttered in apology to the guy who'd seen him. "It's a changeling thing."

He shook his gloved hands dry and picked up the book again. The next page was some sort of brontosaurus cousin. Ehh. That didn't do much for him. He already had brontosaurus among the forms he could use. He'd changed into one a couple times. He felt so slow and sluggish as a brontosaurus. All it was good for was being huge and having incredible mass. One time Gizmo was going to get away from the scene of a fight in some sort of flying disk, jet thing. He'd changed himself into a bront and sat his massive green butt on the thing. The engines sputtered then burned out trying to take off with his added weight.

"About all being a bront's good for," he muttered recalling the incident and turned to the next page, at the sight of which his eyes lit up. Utahraptor! He'd heard of this one, biggest therapod. He'd been trying to find a good picture. The book had both a picture of a full fossilized skeleton in a museum and a computer simulation of what one must have looked like. Beast Boy stared at the picture. Utahraptor. He stared several moments more and then formed the same image in his mind. Instantly his body changed from the green skinned guy the haute couture models had loved so much backstage at the last Paris fashion shows into a fast, powerful dinosaur predator. He trotted around the island some and tested out his strength throwing small boulders before trying some jumping and sprinting. Then he morphed back into his handsome self with a nod of his head.

"That could be useful," he muttered to himself. He spent another hour going through the book seeing if there were any other animals that might be useful for him to turn himself into in a fight. Then he went back up to the Tower and up to the 14th floor to the kitchen. He could see Robin at the communications center typing away. Beast Boy rolled his eyes as he grabbed some tofu from the fridge. Case files. But he thinks he's the only one doing anything.

He swallowed a couple mouthfuls of tofu then closed the fridge and made his way to the elevators, the -taktak taktaktaktaktak- of Robin's typing audible in the background. And the more he thought about it going down to the 13th floor and then into his room, the more it bothered him.

He's mister responsible and I'm just the green goofball even though I was working just as hard as him!

And the more he thought of the stereotypes people had of him, the more it fed into his worries about the coming election. He was running against Bee for the nomination of the Cool party. What if she won 20 to nothing? There were 20 people in the Cool party and 20 in the Tough party, weren't there? What if she won 20 to nothing? He imagined the results being read off and everyone laughing at him. Ahahaha! Ahahahahaha! Ahahahahahaha!!!

Beast Boy was nearly hyperventilating in the middle of his room. "I'm not the stupid little class clown any more," he muttered. "I gotta . . . I gotta make plans . . use . . strategery so I at least do okay."

But what should I do? He was stumped. He pondered. And he pondered. What-what can I do to persuade people to take me seriously?

And then it came to him. Of course! I need to persuade people. Who better?!

He reached for his communicator on his nightstand and quickly pressed 7 buttons.

*773339

He could hear two rings on the other end of the line and then that certain casually cool voice.

"Talk to me."

"Roy, it's me, Gar."

"I saw your number. You're lucky you didn't call me five minutes earlier. I wouldn't have been out of that model's room."

"You're not at East's Tower?"

"Nope. Apartment complex next door to Star City model management. But I'm on my way back."

"You had a call?"

"Yeah, from the new russian girl there, black hair, green eyes. Nice and curvy, not anorexic like some of 'em. Really hot."

Beast boy sighed. "Look, I-I want to ask you for a favor," said Beast Boy and he could hear Speedy getting into a car on the other side of the line.

"Gar, I prefer to think of my loving as a gift, not a favor."

"That's not what I was asking about!" groaned Beast Boy and he heard Speedy's carefree laugh on the other end.

"I know, Gar. I talked to some of the girls at the Gotham Fashion show, the spring summer 09 show. Yeah, they remembered you from the Jump City show, greenie."

"Well . . I . . I . . "

"Dude. You don't have to apologize. This is Speedy you're talking to, not bat mitzvah. I understand having fun. Anyway, they spoke . . very highly of you. You made a big impression on them, Gar. Big. And you had that boy Jeremy, that french model, all frustrated. He wanted you so bad."

"Uh . . yeah, I realized that. When a guy keeps trying to stick his hand down the back of my pants in front of other people back stage, I understand that he wants me."

"I had to console him for a long time. A loooong time," chuckled Speedy.

Beast Boy just looked at his communicator, shaking his head. Speedy!?! "Look, dude. I . . I want your help."

"With what, Gar?"

"This election thing, the . . the me against Bee, the primary."

"Oh yeah, right. The Cool party," said Speedy with a chuckle.

Beast Boy sighed. Fine. Whatever. "I . . I don't want to get wiped out."

"Bee thinks she'll kill you."

"What?!"

"She's so sure of it, she's already planning her campaign against Robin."

"What?!"

"She was at the communications center making notes when we got back and everything I saw on paper was about Robin, how to compare herself to him. She's taking you for granted, Gar. She thinks a matchup with Robin is inevitable."

"But . . but I led the comeback against the Brotherhood of Evil!"

"Cute little goofball."

"What?!"

"Well, not so little any more. You're taller than Robin now! Hahaha! And, like I say, you made a . . big impression on those models. But, yeah, goofball."

"That's the way people think about me? Goofball?!"

"Look. Totally seriously Gar. It's just an image. I mean, look at me! I'm a sophisticated-Hey, hold on a sec, I'm about to switch to vertical takeoff mode."

Beast Boy listened and heard the typical sounds of a T-Car being shifted into flying mode and then the whoosh of the engines as the T-Car lifted off then the sound diminishing.

"Okay, Gar, where was I? Oh yeah, image. Your image isn't the truth. It's just a perception, Gar. Everyone thinks I do nothing but bed models."

"Uh . . you just left a model's apartment, dude."

"Well, yeah, but that's not all I do. I'm like you, Gar. I spend hours and hours working on new arrows and working out at the top dojo here in Star City. I've seen you with your zoology books trying to find new forms. But sooooooome people think their typing away at case files is the only thing that counts. She doesn't talk about it but Bee's almost the same way as Robin."

"I . . I need to make everybody appreciate that I'm not just some goofball. I just want to make a good showing against Bee. Can . . can you help me?"

"It's an interesting proposal, Gar."

"I thought of you right away because I realized I need to persuade people. And you're good at . . at persuading people."

Speedy chuckled then said, "Hold on a sec. I'm about to land on our roof."

Gar heard Speedy working the controls then the telltale whoosh of the flying T-Car engines pushing downward as Speedy landed on the roof.

"Okay. Sorry Gar."

"No sweat."

"I'm intrigued, Gar. I really am. I love competition. I love puzzles. I love games. Ask Garth. He was tutored by a chess grandmaster down in Atlantis and assumed he'd wipe me out at that game but I beat him. Okay, I had to put a piece or two in my mouth and simultate certain things and turn around a few times to distract him-"

Gar rolled his eyes.

"But I beat him. I figured out what it would take and did it. I love the puzzle, the fight, the pressure to figure out how to win. I love it, Gar."

"But this is a different kind of fight, Speedy."

"That's what makes it so interesting. A purely mental fight about images."

"Can you help me?"

"Sure, Gar. I'll be there later in the afternoon. You can beat Bee."

"Beat her?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"I-I was just hoping to not get my ass kicked."

"Ya gotta aim higher than that, Gar. Trust me. I'll have you winning."

"Um, okay. See ya!"

Beast Boy hung up and took a deep breath. There was so much to think about. Winning? He hadn't even considered the possibility of winning. Hmmmmmm. He daydreamed about the possibility for a while then started playing one of his video games while waiting for Speedy to arrive at the Tower.

A little over an hour later, Speedy came down from the roof and almost bumped into Robin on the 14th floor.

It was a moment that should have come with a Sergio Leone soundtrack guitar riff from Fistful of Dollars or maybe the The Good, The Bad and The Ugly.

Even with masks on, each knew that the other was looking only at him. They both knew right away.

Spobin!!

"When?" was all Robin said.

"Five minutes," was all Speedy said.

Kid Flash happened to be going by in the hall and saw the two of them stare at each other in that certain confrontational way.

"Alright!" he chirped and followed Speedy toward the elevators.

"Spobin?" he asked excitedly.

Speedy gave only the slightest nod. That's the way it was with the two of them. Once they'd agreed to another of their incredible combats, they were laser focused on it.

"Alright!" said Kid Flash and he ran to tell the others. He sped to Cyborg's door and knocked a restrained 100 times in a second.

"Cy! Cy! Spobin! . . . . Spobin!!!"

He heard a muffled "What?" from inside and then the door flung open and Cyborg faced him.

"Spobin, in five minutes!"

"Booyeah!" shouted Cyborg. "I didn't even know Speedy was here. I'll be right down there. Just gotta save some debugging results on my new energy imprint detection array."

Kid Flash nodded then zipped down the hall to Starfire's room and, again, knocked a restrained 100 times in a second.

"Star! Are you in there, Star? Spobin!"

She came to the door right away with a look of excitement. "Friend Speedy is here?"

"Yup. And they gave each other that stare. It's on. Spobin! In five minutes!"

"I will make the snack for us to have in the stands, friend Kid Flash."

Kid Flash paused. Starfire's cooking.

"Um . . you don't have to do that, Star."

"No. I want to do something for my friends. I will bring the snacks. I must hurry," she added then flew off down the hallway."

Kid Flash zipped down the hall to Beast Boy's room. Another 100 knocks.

"Gar! Spobin!"

The door flung open.

"Speedy's here already?"

"You knew he was coming?"

"Yeah. He's here to talk with me about the election."

"Well, first . . . Spobin!"

"Do they have to?"

"Gar. Do speedsters have to run fast? Do changelings have to take other forms? It's in their blood, Gar. It's a release for both of them. Besides, it's so cool to watch."

"That's true. It is cool. I'll be right there."

Kid Flash zipped down the hall and vibrated right through theh door to his and Jinx's room. His wife was lying on their bed on her side.

"Honey! Spobin!"

Jinx marked her page and closed the book.

"Roy's here?"

"Uh huh. And Spobin! Total Spobin. I saw it. It was like one of those Sergio Leone spaghetti westerns," he said then imitated one of the sound tracks. "Wadawadawahhhhhhhh wahwahwah! Bam! They just looked at each other then Roy started down to the combat training room."

"When?"

"In five minutes, probably three now."

Jinx got up from the bed and started toward the door. Kid Flash zipped over to the next door and gave 100 knocks to the door to Raven's room.

"Why do you do it that way?" he heard here groan from inside.

"Because then you know it's-"

The door swung open and Raven appeared with her cloak off.

" . . . me."

He stared. She looked so . . good without the cloak.

"Yes?"

"Oh . . Spobin!"

"Really?"

Kid Flash nodded 100 times in a second.

"When did Roy get here?"

"Just a minute ago. They just looked at each other. Bam. Spobin!"

"Well . . normally, fighting doesn't interest me but . . Spobin . . "

She grabbed her cloak off a table by the door, closed the door to her room and started for the elevator. Kid Flash started to join her. Jinx and Beast Boy were already in the elevator. But Raven put her hand out to stop him.

"Did you tell Arrowette?"

"She's still here?"

Raven nodded. "Room 17."

Kid Flash zipped off to the other end of the hall as the elevator doors closed. He got to room 17 and gave a restrained 100 knocks, sighing. The others had no idea how much he slowed himself down for them.

"Arrowette!? Are you in there? Arrowette?"

The female teen archer appeared at the door.

"What is it?" she asked, thinking it might be a call from the police or a mission.

"Spobin!" grinned Kid Flash.

"Spobin?"

"Spobin!" he nodded. "In a couple minutes."

He seemed about to zip off. "Wait!" She tugged on one skin tight yellow sleeve. "What's . . what's 'Spobin'?"

"Speedy . . . and Robin. Come on! We're all gonna watch!"

She was still perplexed.

"Spobin? Is that like . . Flinx?"

"What?"

"You know, Flash and Jinx, like they call you two in the tabloids. Flinx. The name for the couple. So . . Spobin is . . . "

She smirked.

Kid Flash's eyes went wide.

"What?! No. They're not . . . . I mean, they don't . . . . I mean, as far as I know, anyway. It's not like I go into their rooms or anything. I . . . But, no. No way! Not that there would be anything wrong with it if they did. But, I mean, they don't even really like each other. That's why they have the greatest training fights, the two of them, Speedy and Robin. It's like the best fistfight and sword fight and kung fu fight in the movies ever all rolled into one, every time. Speedy against Robin. Spobin."

"Why not 'Reedy'?"

"What?! No! That'd never work! No, it's Spobin. That's what us and East call it when they have one of their incredible training fights. They're really the best fighters. I mean, they don't have powers but they're so amazing. I pick up tricks from them every time. And, like I say, it helps that they don't like each other and that they're both so tough."

"Spobin huh?"

"Spobin," he nodded.

Arrowette closed the door behind herself and followed Kid Flash to the elevators where they were joined by Cyborg.

"How many of these things have they had?" she asked.

"Twenty three," answered Cyborg. "12-11 Robin's ahead. That's one of the great things about it. It's always so close. It's not like if I was fighting Captain Unitard here," said Cy lifting Kid Flash off the floor of the elevator by the scruff of the neck of his stretchy uniform to giggling from Arrowette.

Kid Flash swatted in vain at Cyborg's metal hand. "Hey! C'mon, Cy! Put me down. C'mon! Cy! It makes my uniform feel even tighter when you do that. C'mon, Cy! Put me down! Please Cy!"

Arrowette laughed at his exasperation. Finally, Cy put him down just as the elevator got to the observation level, 30 seats in three rows behind a thick glass viewing window all set on story up from the floor of the surprising large combat simulations room that measured nearly 200 feet on a side. Kid Flash sat next to Jinx and the others had the seats all around them. A minute later, Starfire came in with two huge bowls, two feet across each, filled to overflowing with what looked like a slightly off colored popcorn. She passed the bowls around. The others all glanced at them warily. Starfire's cooking. Beast Boy tossed a few pieces of the popcorn into his mouth with everyone else watching intently but trying to be furtive about it. He chewed and swallowed and smiled. Cyborg and Kid Flash glanced at each other. Hopefully he doesn't die. But Beast Boy smiled.

"Mmm. Good stuff," said Beast Boy to Starfire as he reached for another handful. "It's got a slightly different taste than regular popcorn. I like it."

Starfire smiled. The others all began digging in, too.

Down below them, Speedy entered the combat simulations room from one side. He was the picture of focus. This was not playboy Speedy or wiseass Speedy. This was Speedy, the world's greatest archer except for, perhaps, one person and the master of several martial arts. From the other end, Robin entered.

"Oh boy, Spobin!" muttered Kid Flash leaning forward in his seat.

Cyborg pressed a couple buttons on his forearm and was now speaking from an overhead speaker to Speedy and Robin.

"Okay, gentlemen. Today's setting is . . . "

He pressed another button on his forearm and a series of different words, "Open", "Factory" and "Food Court" among them flashed across one display before it stopped at the word "Warehouse".

" . . Warehouse. Today's setting is warehouse."

Neither Speedy nor Robin reacted in the slightest way at their positions just inside the doors on the left and right sides of the combat simulations room nearly 200 feet apart. Cyborg pressed another button on his forearm and the whole combat simulations room changed. Walls with gymnastic mat coverings flipped over to become cheap wood and metal. Huge squares of floor flipped over to become concrete surface with crates and boxes of various sorts. In just a few seconds, the room around the two combatants became for all outward appearances, the interior of just another Jump City warehouse.

"Okay gentlemen," said Cyborg and both teen fighters moved forward.

As the onlookers gawked from above, Robin sprinted forward while throwing three birdarangs at once. Speedy stopped and shot 3 arrows neatly taking out the birdarangs like oversized skeets. But it allowed Robin to get closer. And, in fact, those three birdarangs had been duds, with nothing in them, just decoys to occupy Speedy.

"Robin has to get close against Speedy," Kid Flash whispered to Arrowette. "He can't win a distance fight against an archer."

Arrowette nodded. This could be useful, to see how she, a fellow archer, should fight.

Robin was behind a wood crate now and the crate slowly moved forward. Speedy burst it open with a concussion grenade but Robin wasn't behind it. A birdarang skidded along the floor between some other crates then bounced off a back wall toward Speedy before exploding. Speedy had time to jump away but some of the arrows in his quivver went flying. No sooner was he up than Robin was leaping at him from behind a different crate. Speedy nearly speared him with his bow, catching a groaning Robin in the side. The shorter Titan immediately extended his bo-staff with a flick of one arm then stood up and advanced on Speedy. Speedy jumped back, drew an arrow but shot inexplicably wide of Robin. But then it made perfect sense because that arrow must have had some kind of powerful magnet as it ripped the metal bo-staff right out of Robin's hands as it went by and both arrow and bo-staff ended up lodged in the far wall.

Robin leaped and kicked at Speedy, "Aiiiiiiyah!" but only landed a glancing blow as the taller Titan was nearly as fast as he was. There followed five straight minutes of martial arts fighting better than anything in Enter the Dragon as the two endlessly resourceful teens kept turning momentary disadvantage into temporary advantage. Robin leaped at Speedy who dodged and shoved Robin as he went by, who crashed against a wall and found a discarded birdarang to throw at Speedy who ducked under the throw and continued low toward Robin and took him out with a leg sweep that put Robin on the ground from where he tripped up Speedy who rolled as he fell, grabbed Robin's cape and threw the smaller Titan against a trash can etc etc.

At one point the two were standing face to face throwing punches, kicks and elbows for nearly a minute, both shattering the sides of crates with punches and kicks barely dodged by the other. They ranged all over the 200 by 200 combat simulations room, making use of whatever was at hand for weapons, a chain busted loose from a gate as a whip, boards from the sides of crates as both clubs and shields, each other's gloves and belts for grip for throws. Everything was used as the two master fighters instantly assessing the available resources. The fight ebbed back and forth, Speedy seeming to have the upper hand initially with some excellent throws and roundhouse kicks and then Robin for the middle 10 minutes or so after getting Speeding to slightly inhale some sort of gas from a pellet in his utility belt that he withdrew as the two were grappling against a side wall. Speedy retreated and Robin scored some excellent punches and kicks but couldn't put the taller archer away while the gas was affecting him. All the while, both of them were ferociously focused, tremendously impressing Arrowette who'd never seen Spobin before.

Speedy finally won due to clever planning. That early exploding birdarang that had seemed to score a partial hit and cause some of Speedy's arrows to fly out of his quiver hadn't actually done nearly that much. Speedy was aware that Robin would try to bring the fight in close and that he wouldn't be able to fire off arrows if Robin did get close. He had thrown some arrows aside to specific locations to be available later in the fight. So, as a weary Robin charged a similarly fatigued Speedy and they both went crashing over a crate, Speedy spied a certain arrow out of the corner of his eye. Robin couldn't figure why Speedy had turned his back on him but had to take advantage. Speedy sprinted, dove, plucked the arrow off a forklift and threw it, with all his might, at charging Robin's feet. Instantly, the special directionally expanding glue shot upward from the Titan leader's feet, covering him in a nearly unbreakable rubbery coating up to his shoulders that stuck him to the spot and froze him in place.

Robin grunted, straining with all his might but stuck in place, in mid stride as Speedy, still wary, got up from the ground, went around back of Robin and did a slow motion kick, just touching the sole of one shoe to the back of Robin's neck. The shorter Titan sighed heavily and stopped struggling.

Arrowette thought wiseass Speedy might do something to mock helpless Robin but the archer immediately made his way to his utility belt across the room. It had somehow come off as they grappled at one point, and withdrew a certain metal capsule. Without a word he approached Robin and shattered it at his feet. The instantly drying glue that had made a statue of the smaller Titan immediately started to dissolve and the smaller Titan moved freely again. The two didn't shake hands. Robin nodded slightly. Speedy nodded back the same way and the two headed for the respective doors from which they'd entered.

"Booyeah. Awesome fight. 12 to 12 now," said Cyborg.

Arrowette talked about how impressive it was, the total focus both showed. "Are their fights always like this?" she asked.

"They're usually a bit longer," said Raven. "Twenty minutes seems a little short for them."

"Oh, hey, Star," said Kid Flash getting her attention before everyone walked away. "Good popcorn."

"Oh, it it not the popped corn," chirped Starfire.

Everyone stopped.

Kid Flash was afraid to ask. Those mustard laden casseroles. That jellyfish goulash. Oh god. He didn't want to know. But he had to ask. He'd eaten 37 handfuls. He held one more up in his red gloved hand.

"This isn't popcorn, Star?"

"Oh no. It looks very similar, but it is a Tamaranean delicacy, the corthell oculars," she said with a happy nod of the head.

"Wait-wait! Oculars?" asked an increasingly frantic Kid Flash.

"Yes. What you would call the eyeballs," she chirped matter of factly.

Kid Flash spit. Beast Boy spit. Cyborg spit.

Kid Flash went around the inside of his mouth with one red gloved finger trying to get any remnant of . . he shuddered. He couldn't say it to himself. Eccccch!!

"You fed us . . popped eyeballs!" shrieked Cyborg in a pitch higher than the others thought he could reach.

"Yes. They are small and when popped from the application of the heat from the waves of the micro, it looks just like the earth popcorn."

"You fed me animal parts!?" shrieked Beast Boy.

"Oh no, friend Beast Boy! The corthell is a plant. It grows to be nearly 50 feet across and has hundreds of eyeballs which it uses to scout for animals to lure into its many thousands of tendrils. It typically subsists on feenorfs, an animal very similar to what on earth is called a . . . goat. Yes."

"You . . fed us . . microwaved . . eyeballs . . from a plant that eats goats!?!" shouted a stunned Kid Flash. He noticed a few "kernels" on the yellow chest of his uniform. He frantically brushed them off. Jinx rolled her eyes at his squeamishness.

"They're good," she said and she and Raven both dug in to one huge bowl for additional handfuls.

"Mmmmm," agreed Raven. "They really are," she added and licked her fingers after finishing her handful.

The boys looked at them horrified.

Sorceresses!

Beast Boy couldn't wait for Speedy to meet him back up at his room on the 13th floor so that they could talk about the election and he could get the thought of eyeballs popped in the microwave out of his mind. At last, there was a knock at the door and a bruised Speedy walked in.

"So, you want to beat Bee?"

Beast Boy nodded. "Yeah, I do. The more I think about it, the more I want to. How do I do it?"

"Jujitsu. You turn her strength against her. I heard her talking to Argent and Superboy. She thinks it's a sure thing that she's going to face you. So you have to move right away while she's not even paying attention to you. You build up a base of support in the Cool party that she can't overcome while she's trying to curry favor with the people in the tough party."

"How do I do that?"

"I've been thinking about it. I've got some ideas."

"So, tell me!"


	3. The Audacity of Green

_Author's note: Any perceived denigration of your favorite real life political candidate is purely intentional on my part as any feeling more positive than a deep ambivalence about any of them is almost certainly due to not knowing better._

***********************************************************

"First, I have to know that you're committed, Gar," said Speedy stepping toward Beast Boy in the middle of the latter's room.

"I am," declared Beast Boy. "I was thinking about it since we talked. I don't just want to avoid embarassment. I wanna win."

"Good, good," smiled Speedy. "That's a necessary first step. Now, let's see what we have to work with," he added and started slowly circling Beast Boy.

"Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm. Mmm hmm."

"What are you doing?" asked Beast Boy turning his head to follow the taller archer.

"Checking you out."

"Dude. This is not going to be an opening for you to make a pass at me."

"Gar. I'm offended. Just because you're taller now and you have a nice round pair of buns and very good abs and a great face . . . . . . . ," Speedy finished with a sigh.

"You were, weren't you?"

Speedy shrugged. "So sue me. Let's just get down to business, okay?" he said and tugged at Beast Boy's uniform. "That's a unitard, right?"

Beast Boy sighed, rolled his eyes and nodded.

"With a dance belt underneath?"

Beast Boy sighed, rolled his eyes and nodded.

Speedy smiled that green cheeks could blush that red. Speedy grabbed at both sides of Beast Boy's uniform just above the hip bone and tugged upward.

"Hey!"

"Hey yourself. Why do you wear it so low? Chicks dig big packages and guys respect 'em."

"I know but I feel weird showing how . . . " Beast half shrugged, " . . I am."

"Well you are . . . ," Speedy mockingly imitated Beast Boy's half shrug. "So don't conceal it. Can you get this suit to stick to your lower abs better. That'll highlight it even more."

Beast Boy frowned. Speedy sighed. "Fine, just wear the waist band of the dance belt a half inch higher than you've been. And if you're at a podium or something turned a little bit to one side, shift your weight so that it's a little bit more on the leg closer to the audience."

"Why?"

Speedy patted the changeling's backside. "Makes your butt look more muscular. Chicks dig it and guys respect it."

"You dig it," muttered Beast Boy through a sigh.

Speedy shrugged. "So what? Everyone notices everyone else's body Gar. I'm just more honest about it than most people. Alright now," he said as he straightened up and Beast Boy could see him looking at his head and specifically his hair.

"What?"

"Gar, it's good that you don't have that pathetic excuse for a haircut, that bowl cut you were working for about 4 years there but why do you have this 70's cut that hides your ears."

Beast Boy shrugged sheepishly.

"Come on . . ."

Beast Boy sighed.

"Come on, Gar!"

"Fine! I got to the point where I hated my pointy ears because they were part of me being short and joked about as being an elf and shit like that by Cy and even Robin."

"I thought you used to say that chicks dug your pointy ears."

"I . . . I just said that. It-it felt better to make up something like that than to say I was ashamed of how I looked."

Speedy doubled over laughing.

"What?!" demanded an angry Beast Boy.

"You . . . idiot!" laughed Speedy.

"What?! Really?"

"Me and Giselle were cuddling after the last time and she was talking about the guys she likes at the fashion shows, the guys she thinks are hot and she was all sighing and apologizing thinking she was going to offend me then she told me how much she loves your ears."

"Really?!"

"Completely, Gar! Her. Kate. Nadya. All of them."

"Dude, I didn't go out with all of those girls at the last Jump City Fashion Show."

"They didn't all say they'd been with you. They were talking and the ones who knew you better annnnd the others who'd only seen you with their friends all agreed that the ears are totally hot," said Speedy and he smoothed Beast Boy's now nearly collar length dark hair down so that his ears showed and then rubbed one fingertip over the changeling's pointy green ear. "Mmmm."

Beast Boy slapped the archer's hand away then walked over and looked at himself in the mirror over his dresser, seeing his once embarassing ears in a totally different way for the first time and he smiled. Speedy smiled as well, thinking that as powerful as they all were, they all had most of the same insecurities of normal teenagers.

"Okay, that's the easy part, Gar. If we're gonna make over your image to be that of fitting leader for the Teen Titans, we have a lot of other work to do."

"Like what, dude?" asked Beast Boy turning around to face him.

"Like that, for starters. From this moment on, no more saying 'Dude'. It sounds like a kid not a man fit to be leader."

"But that's how I talk!"

"Does your father talk like that?"

"Dude, my . . . I mean . . Speedy! My . . . my father's . . . dead."

Speedy was taken aback at how quickly the changeling's handsome face clouded over.

"I'm-I'm in the same boat, Gar. My father's dead and-and so's the man who was my . . guardian after he passed away."

"Oh wow, double. Sorry dude, I mean, sorry Roy."

The two frowning teens faced each other a few moments, both hurt and letting it show and the fact that they'd shown that hurt to each other and not been mocked but had found understanding forged a connection between the two acquaintances.

"What kind of english did your dad speak?" asked Speedy softly.

"He was a scientist. He always talked kind of highbrow and precise."

"Well, how about you just imitate him a bit, use a bit of his style. No offense, but the whole 'dude' thing doesn't seem like how a leader should talk. And you've been a leader. You led the comeback against the Brotherhood. Don't let a silly word or two take away from that impression in peoples' minds."

Beast Boy nodded solemnly.

"Okay!" continued Speedy, intentionally loud to break the mood. "On to the bigger questions, how do you present yourself to best advantage as compared to Bee and then Robin."

Beast Boy shrugged. "I don't know how. That's why I asked you to help."

"Well, I did a little research after you called me and there are some general principles of appealing to voters. For instance, the taller candidate usually wins and you're taller than Bee or that little runt Robin, now."

Beast Boy chuckled.

"Shorter names on the ballot generally have an advantage, although there's some thought that this is the byproduct of times gone by when xenophobia caused people to vote against immigrants with non anglo saxon names. At any rate, they'd both have you beat on that one."

"Hmm. Yeah."

"But we can make inroads against that. We start a viral campaign where we have the letters "BB" appearing everywhere."

"Everywhere? How'll we do that?"

"Don't worry. I'll take care of it."

"Okay. What else?"

"Another powerful theme with a track record of success is the outsider. Think about it, Gar. Little Bat and Bee have been the leaders for more than 4 years now, 4 years of being in charge without ever being chosen for the job by their peers. They're the power. They're the insiders. You're the fresh, green agent of change," said Speedy and he started stroking his chin with the fingers of one hand. "Hmm. Yeah. That opens up a lot of things, doesn't it, change? I mean, shit, you're a change . . ling. Who's more for change than you? Beast Boy, change you can count on!"

Beast Boy laughed.

"We could lift that whole campaign theme from the last election, couldn't we?"

"Would that be plagiarism?"

"Political sampling!" corrected Speedy. "Just like taking a riff from an old song."

"The campaign's only been over a week."

"Old enough."

"How do we . . use a campaign theme, anyway? We've got a couple weeks till the primary election for the Cool party-"

Speedy snickered.

"-and, well, what am I gonna do in that time? How do I . . 'campaign' for this office."

Speedy shook his head slowly like a teacher dealing with a poor student. "The same way those jerks in the real campaign did. You run ads and you make personal appearances."

"Ads? Where?"

"Titans TV, of course."

"Titans TV? What the hell's that?"

Titans TV, Speedy explained to his verdant friend, was the non emergency use of the extremely high frequency used for communicator transmissions and also for transmissions from one tower to the other. It was an untapped goldmine, explained Speedy. It's been there since the inception of the team but the only use that's ever been made of it has been Robin and Bee using it a few times to send messages to other Titans, like that introduction thing that they made all the new members watch, how to use your communicator, how to contact us, don't let this happen to you. Training films.

Beast Boy laughed at the recollection of having seen one, when Hot Spot showed him his. Robin was so stiff. "Friends . . . ."

Speedy laughed too. But, he explained, it was a resource that could be used for a lot of other things. Imagine, he said, if the auxiliary members in the cool party received a steady diet of short promotional films about a certain changeling, the guy who led the comeback against the Brotherhood of Evil. And, imagine if they also got a steady diet of internet communications about a certain green candidate . .

Beast Boy nodded, impressed. "You've really put some thought into this."

"Of course I have, Gar. I play to win. You saw that down in the combat simulations room, didn't you?"

"Yeah. Great fight," said Beast Boy noticing that Speedy looked distracted. "What? What is it?"

"I know just the person to help us put these promos together, too. Come on!"

Speedy strode briskly out of Beast Boy's room with the changeling not far behind and made his way down to the end of the hall. He knocked hard three times and was met, when the door opened, by the skeptical squint of Cyborg. At first, Cyborg resisted. He had signed up with the Tough Party, he protested. How could he work for a candidate of the Cools? But Speedy didn't try to convert him to the Cool Party. He pitched it to Cyborg as strictly a mercenary thing and a technological challenge. Could he produce high quality ads in the short time necessary? Speedy saw how this had some appeal to Cyborg and worked at that angle, the challenge of it, mixing in some surprised remarks that no other candidates had seen the value in his expertise and ten minutes later Cyborg was signed on as a consultant to the Beast Boy for leader campaign.

They broke up and agreed to meet the next day. In the meantime, Speedy wanted Beast Boy to get in a T-Jet and go and visit some of the auxiliary members. Right away. Get the jump on Bee while she was still thinking of how to beat Robin. So, that afternoon and evening, Beast Boy made three stops, Hot Spot, Herald and Argent. Speedy rode in the T-Jet with him and on the way over prepped him with the jet set for auto pilot.

"Stay on message!" he nearly shouted at his verdant client. "You've got three themes to drive home, Gar. First, change. Robin and Bee've been leaders without ever being elected. It's time for an outsider. Second is your work against the Brotherhood. Who led the comeback? You did! What better example of fitness for a leadership post could there be than coming through like that when all our lives were on the line. Don't make a point of it, but a subtle dig that Robin fucked up and Bee pretty much did nothing can't hurt. And, third, be serious and show them that you're not the same little green guy you used to be. You've grown up. Better still, leading the comeback against the Brotherhood of Evil helped you grow up. Squeeze that in. And now you're ready to lead. Stay on message! These three points and nothing else!"

Beast Boy nodded and repeated the stuff Speedy had said but when it came time to meet Hot Spot, pretty much just said 'Hi' and forgot to do much of his campaign pitch other than asking Hot Spot to consider him.

Speedy was like a disappointed nun teaching in a catholic school, repeatedly slapping Beast Boy on the back of the head as they made their way back to the T-Jet. He critiqued Beast Boy's performance to the smallest detail, making Beast Boy feel like he'd totally failed. By the time they were touching down at the next stop, Herald's place, Beast Boy was totally down on himself and did even worse. He stood in front of Herald uncertain how to begin and afraid to screw it up, resulting in the two just standing there staring at each other.

On the T-Jet flying away from that meeting, Speedy was even more bitterly critical, stay on message, stay on message, until finally Beast Boy shouted back.

"I don't work that way, dude!"

"Don't say 'dude'!"

"Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh! I know that! But I don't . . . I don't get better if you only criticize me! Okay? That's not how I work! I need you to be fair with me! I need you to give me credit for what I did right, too! You're acting like frigging Mento and Robin!"

Speedy did his pensive chin stroking thing again. "Hmm."

"What now?"

"We've got ourselves another campaign theme. A new leadership style. A . change . . in leadership styles!"

"Not just me, Speedy! You too! I'm not gonna be hectored and nagged about everything. That's not gonna work. You have to be fair to me not just take up some negative bargaining position thinking you'll make me get further that way. I hate that stuff. Mento did it and Robin does it, too."

"Alright, alright, Gar. Let's go talk to Argent and you just do your best."

And Beast Boy's best was much better this time. He smoothly mentioned all his campaign themes even if he strayed a bit from the catch phrases Speedy wanted him to use. In the end, Argent said she was iimpressed. She said she hadn't much considered voting for Beast Boy but maybe she would. She asked how Beast Boy intended to campaign. Speedy tried to hustle him away, a hand pushing at the changeling's shoulder and backside but Beast Boy let slip that they were running ads for use on Titans TV.

Argent grabbed Beast Boy's hand and wouldn't let him go.

"Titans TV? What's that?"

Beast Boy explained briefly then Speedy filled in missing information.

"It should have its own independent news and correspondents!" declared Argent with certainty.

Beast Boy was perplexed but Speedy jumped on the idea. Absolutely! Titans TV should have its own independent reports how 'bout . . . you, he pointed to Argent, for top reporter? Argent jumped at the opportunity. And so, in the space of an afternoon, the structure of the coming campaign was set. But Beast Boy and his special consultant, Speedy, were aware of how things would go while Bee and Robin were not.

The very idea of campaigning was completely foreign to Robin. His management style wasn't consensus building. He gave orders. Period. And mostly it worked. It worked very well. He sat there in his room at the Tower staring at a blank sheet of paper with the heading "Campaign Ideas". Why did this have to change, he wondered. What do they want from me? They all want this stupid election but nobody says anything about what I was doing wrong? Nothing! The incumbent Titans leader fumed and fumed. What more do they want from me?!

In disgust at his lack of progress, Robin got up, pulled of his special steel toed shoes and stood with his back to the wall just outside his bathroom. He compressed his spiked hair and marked his height on the wall behind him with a pencil. He turned around and ground. Right next to yesterday's mark. Five feet eight and one sixteenth inches tall. Ugh. Another example of no progress. He'd been almost as tall as Kid Flash when he'd joined. They'd even shared civilian clothes sometimes. A couple days before, he'd accidentally gotten some of Wally's clothes mixed in with his from the laundry. He'd put on Wally's shirt and jeans. The sleeves covered his hands and he'd tripped because the pants were so long on him. Ugh. So humiliating to still be five eight. Even Beast Boy was almost five inches taller than that. Beast Boy! God! Imagine him being leader! Beast Boy!!

It was too much. But Robin was a fighter, not a wallower, not a self pitying type. He sat back down at his desk and stared at the blank lines on the paper. And he stared. And he stared. But eventually, his eyes lit up with excitement and he started frantically writing.

The next morning, Robin called every Titan on his communicator (except for Bee and Beast Boy, of course) and asked for their support in his campaign to be elected leader.

But it wasn't exactly a slick, polished pitch that he made and some of the Titans had trouble with his basic argument. Speedy started making fun of it to Jinx, Kid Flash and Raven in the great room at the Tower.

"Come on, Speedy," chided Jinx. "We know you're working with Beast Boy. We don't expect you to like anything Robin has to say."

"Sure, but, come on! It was just so . . . dumb," said the exasperated archer as he launched into his Robin imitation. "When Slade captured me I held out and risked everything to save my teammates. That's the kind of leadership I offer?! Really? That's the only thing he has to say? That's the best he can do? When I was captured like . . years ago, I held out against our enemy. Really? That's a good reason to vote for someone to be leader today? Like holding out against what your captors wanted you to do then means you'll make the right choices in normal life? Who ever heard of such a dumb ass reason why someone should be leader?"

Jinx, Kid Flash and Raven all raised eyebrows and glanced back and forth amongst themselves.

Meanwhile, at the Titans East tower, Bee was plotting her next move. She'd found out about what Robin was saying to other Titans. "Friends . . when I was captured by our enemy . . . " She snickered. What kind of stupid ass reasoning is that?

But what Bee really wanted to attack was his handling of the fight with the Brotherhood of Evil. That was the biggest test they'd ever faced. And Robin had bungled it. His 'hand out communicators' plan had backfired on them. She wished she'd said something against it. But she remembered saying it was a good idea. Maybe no one else would really remember? Robin had been more enthusiastic for that strategy than her, obviously. And, thankfully, the only guy who had questioned that strategy and done best in the whole Brotherhood fight was Beast Boy. The green clown. Who would take him seriously? She didn't even bother to consider it but went back to trying to figure the best angle for her campaign against Robin in their inevitable showdown. She slept with dreams of her victory party, of being interviewed by tv news figures and Oprah about being the new leader of the Titans. New leader of the Titans. New . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

So, it was only a bit annoying when she woke up and, getting dressed, found little "BB" stickers all over the door to her room and at eye level along the hallway and in the elevator up to the kitchen level of East's tower. She smiled a condescending smile to herself. Isn't that cute? The green clown wants to have a little viral marketing campaign. Aqualad was in the kitchen eating those kelpcakes he liked so much and reading a newspaper. She sighed to herself. So hot, but gay and a total nerd. Jinx got the straight one. And hers signed up for the Tough party too. But you can't ignore the chance of getting those votes.

"Morning, Garth," she said with a smile taking the seat next to him.

"A good morning to you as well, Karen."

She smiled. Always formal. Always. "Still read the paper I see," she ventured.

"Of course, Karen. It's the best way to keep up with current events."

"Well, a lot of people like the internet but I'm glad to see you take in information. And I hope you have an open mind and consider my candidacy for Titans leader."

"Karen," sighed Aqualad without looking away from the paper on the table. "You know I'm registered with the . . Tough party. I support Richard's candidacy."

"Even though he looks down on you because you're gay?"

Aqualad sighed, looked up from the paper and sat back in his chair. "Karen . . . Richard was uncomfortable with my sexual orientation as well as Roy's . . . sexual disorientation or whatever you can call what he is, but he's better about it now. Besides which, there are many factors in choosing a leader and I think Richard's a superlative choice for the job."

Bee bit her lip angrily. "You're not just saying that because you find him so attractive?"

"No! Not just because I . . I mean it doesn't matter whether I find him or you attractive. I think Richard's the best leader. He's a natural for the job."

Bee was going to say something else when Mas and Menos suddenly sped over and took two seats at the table. She cooked breakfast for them as well as herself, just as nice as could be and then casually asked them, before they got up, if she couldn't count on them to vote for her.

"We're going to vote for Senor Beast Boy!" said Menos as Bee's effortful smile fell away.

"He's the coolest of the Cools, haha!"

And with that they were off before she could even try to argue with them. She shook her head. Speedsters!

But, so what? She knew she wouldn't get Aqualad's vote. Probably too hung up on Robin's little butt. Besides, a guy from a monarchy, who was, in fact, a prince wasn't the best measure of how things would go in a democratic situation, was he? She smiled at that thought and went about her duties as East's leader. Speedy was still away at Jump City but there were no crises on the immediate horizon so that didn't seem like a problem. And her mood was slightly elevated the whole day as she'd thought up a way to counter Robin's pitch about his Slade experience.

Meanwhile, Beast Boy was working hard. Under the direction of his campaign consultant, Speedy, he was visiting more Titans every day. And he had honed his campaign message. He was smooth now. The Titans he was visiting were impressed. A common refrain was that they were sorry for still sort of thinking of him as cute little goofy Beast Boy. That's right, you did lead that comeback against the Brotherhood. I'm gonna seriously consider you.

And it was working.

"My private polling has you ahead of Bee 11 to 9," exclaimed Roy bursting into Beast Boy's room late that night.

"What?" demanded a delighted Beast Boy putting down his ipod.

"You're ahead, Gar!" he shouted slapping the green changeling's back.

"But, wait, how do you know?"

"I told you. I did some polling."

"That's not one of those double meaning things for you doing . . well, all that other stuff you do?"

Roy sighed. Once you have the rep they never take you seriously. "I called up the other members of the Cool party and asked them who they were going to vote for. Ten said you. Eight said Bee."

"But you said 11 to 9."

"Once we factor in you voting for yourself and Bee voting for herself."

"Are you sure they weren't just saying what you wanted to hear while you were talking to them?"

"Argent's got the same numbers in her polling for Titans TV. I uh . . suggested it might make a good story for Titans TV for her to do a story about the status of the race. She's gonna interview you tomorrow morning at 10," said Speedy and looked at the time on Beast Boy's alarm clock. "She . . just got done interviewing Bee. I can't wait to see how Bee handled that news."

Not well.

The next day, the 4th of the campaign, after breakfast, Cyborg sat down to play a video game with Beast Boy while the others were all nearby in the kitchen or at the communications center. After Cyborg turned on the tv, a burst of graphics and sound effects to put Fox News and CNN to shame filled the screen and air as a logo filled the screen.

TITANS TV

Cyborg pressed the buttons to start the video game but somehow it wouldn't. The TITANS TV letters exploded into tiny pieces across the screen and then the picture changed to show Argent, with a microphone, approaching Bee at the communications center of East's tower. Argent was speaking in a pretentious sounding version of her normal english accent, oddly drawing out the syllables of some of her words.

"I'm here with Bumblebee, the leader of Titans Eeeeeeeeeeast."

"Um, hi, what's this?" asked slightly agitated Bee. "Why do you have that camera set up there?"

"Bumblebee, I'm Argent, correspondent for Titans Tee Veeeeeeeeeeeee."

"I-I know who you are. What-what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to get your reaction to the lastest polls showing you trailing Beast Boy for the nomination of the . . Cool party by ten perceeeeeent. Do you have a plan for trying to make up the significant lead Beast Boy has opened up in the polls?"

"What . . what polls are you talking about?"

"Titans TV has just released its poll showing Beast Boy leading you 55 percent to 45 percent. Do you have any strategy for overcoming this maaaaaaargin?"

"Well I . . I don't know."

Argent turned toward the camera and stepped directly toward it. "Well, there you have it. Bumblebee, a campaign in disarray. For Titans TV, I'm Argent. Now back to our news center."

In the background, Bee could be heard shouting, "Disa-what?! Disarray?! Let me tell you girl-!"

The screen abruptly switched over to the beta testing version of Halo 7 as the Titans all glanced around at each other.

"Titans TV?" asked a couple.

"I told her not to say she was throwing it back to the news center until there is one!" whispered Speedy to Beast Boy.

It seemed like such a small thing, a report that she was probably behind Beast Boy in early polling. There were still 13 days left till the two party primaries. But without her air of inevitability Bee's campaign just wasn't the same. And there was another gigantic misstep to come. As part of her feeling that she was inevitably going to be running against Robin for overall leader, Bee said in an interview with Argent the next day that, just like Robin, she too had been under fire from Slade.

Speedy's ear's pricked up watching the tape of that sent to him by Argent. "We never fought Slade," he immediately told Beast Boy in his room, now the unofficial command center for the Beast Boy campaign, with stacks of polling data, position papers and disks with various titles like "Attack Robin", "Attack Bee" and "BB from B'hood cams".

"Are you sure, Dude?"

Speedy stared.

"Sorry. Sorry. Are you sure, Speedy?"

"Of course I'm sure. We never fought Slade at East. I mean, we fought a Slade bot once. Once! But it was a crappy early one, maybe a Sladebot 2.0 and I don't think it even fired at us. Aqualad knocked it apart with one punch. Just a second."

Speedy whipped out his communicator and dialed. "Hola, Mas! Your amigo Speedy! . . . . Yeah . . . . just uno question, pal. Did we ever fight Slade? . . . . . . No, I'm not loco . . . . . . right, right a Sladebot. That's what I thought and do you remember if it ever fired at Bee? . . . . . what's so funny? . . . . . . . . No! Really?! Oh man, I have to get that footage! . . . . Thanks amigo! . . . . yeah, yeah, si podemos, whatever."

Speedy immediately started making another flurry calls and before the afternoon was over he'd prepared a devastating response.

Right in the middle of Cyborg playing Halo 7 against Robin, the screen switched from showing their game to the exploding TITANS TV graphic.

"Oh come on!" shouted Cyborg. "I was on my way to a record score!"

On came an interview of Bee by Argent. Bee complained that Argent almost seemed to be favoring Beast Boy then ignored Argent's next question to make a seemingly pre-planned statement about how tough she was, She'd fought Slade, too, she said. She'd been fired at by Slade, too. The differences between them weren't in who was tough but style of leadership and she said she was confident the other Titans would choose here.

Argent signed off and Halo 7 momentarily returned to the giant screen. Cyborg shouted in pain,. His character was getting wiped out by others in the game who'd kept playing while hadn't been able to.

But after just another moment, the screen showed Argent again. This time she was in what looked like a news room setting with a giant TITANS TV title emblazoned over it.

"In the interview just played, the candidate for the Cool party's nomination claimed to have fought Slade, but is that true? Titans TV interviewed the twin speedsters, Mas and Menos to get their response."

There followed a brief interview with Mas and Menos who giggled at the idea that they'd fought Slade and said it was only a Sladebot and that Bee had never been fired on by it. Then they started dancing in place, which, at first perplexed Cyborg and the others. The next clip was crushing. With Argent's voiceover describing what they were seeing, the screen showed video from the Star City Mall as Aqualad punched a Sladebot so hard he sent it flying, literally knocking its head off and sending the body crashing into an empty arcade. Only a few seconds later did a miniaturized Bee fly onto the scene where some sparks from a damaged Dance Dance Revolution game showered over here and causing her to fire at it. She had fired at a Dance Dance Revolution game that was throwing off sparks.

The Titans watching all chuckled.

"A Dance Dance Revolution game and not Slade?!" laughed Kid Flash.

"Lookout, he's got a waltz and the charleston!" shouted Jinx in mock alarm.

The room cracked up. And that report was sent to every Titan's communicator. In Speedy's polling, Beast Boy picked up three more votes to take a 14-6 lead for the Cool party's nomination. Bee's situation was hopeless. She tried to fight back. She told everyone that Titans TV completely favored Beast Boy. She prepared an ad for Titans TV attacking Beast Boy who she couldn't believe Titans would actually pick over her. The ad asked who Titans wanted to be picking up a communicator late at night answering a call from Interpol or the president informing the Titans of an emergency. "Who do you want answering that communicator?" she asked.

In the end, it turned out that the Cool party members wanted Beast Boy to answer that communicator. When the Titans gathered two weeks after the day that Obama was elected, the green skinned changeling beat Bumblebee 14 votes to 6. Robin won the nomination of the Tough party, running unopposed, 18-0, fuming slightly at the two write in votes for "Batman" and "My Husband". He shot a quick glance at Kid Flash and Jinx who immediately avoided his gaze.

Amid all the congratulations, Robin and Beast Boy made their way through the crowd to each other and shook hands.

"Congratulations, Beast Boy. May the best man win," said Robin, thinking Beast Boy would snicker "I hope I do, too!" or something like that but the changeling surprised him with a solemn nod and repeat of "May the best man win."

It was on.


	4. The Green Machine

_Author's note: Any perceived denigration of your favorite real life political candidate is purely intentional on my part as any feeling more positive than a deep ambivalence about any of them is almost certainly due to your not knowing better._

***********************************************************

The fight was on but this was one of the few sorts of fights that Robin wasn't any good at. And Beast Boy, with Speedy's help, was becoming a master at it, so much so that he took over more and more of the running of his campaign from Speedy. He took the T-Jet and visited Tough party voters without even taking Speedy with him.

He thought he might have made some impact on Pantha, whom he and Speedy had categorized as a solid Robin vote earlier. And Superboy seemed at least open to the idea of voting for him. It was tough to figure exactly what Gnark's position was. All he ever said was "Gnark!". Speedy'd had him down as undecided but that was mostly because he couldn't figure out how the guy was responding to poll questions.

"In a matchup between Robin and Beast Boy, who would you favor?"

"Gnark."

"Um . . yeah. Thanks."

Beast Boy also tried to smooth things over with the Titans who'd supported Bee in the Cool party's primary. Hot Spot seemed to be holding onto a bit of a grudge still but Wonder Girl and some others seemed to be open to shifting their vote to Beast Boy.

He tried everyone. At Titans East's tower, he approached Bee and gave her his standard pitch. He was real good at now. Two or three points with no exta info and each line honed to perfection. Bee seemed surprised that he would explicitly ask her for her support and said some ambiguous things that seemed supportive but there was a decidedly unfriendly look in her eye that told him she wasn't over his having beaten her for the Cool party's nomination.

Finally, Beast Boy made his pitch to the most hard core Robin voters. Aqualad was one. Beast Boy knocked on his door at East's tower after talking to Bee.

"Come in."

When Beast Boy did, he saw Aqualad over by one wall talking to the brightly colored fish in the giant aquarium that took up most of one wall of his room.

" . . you don't like that food as much? But it's got better plankton than . . . oh, Beast Boy."

Aqualad quickly turned to face him after seeing Beast Boy out of the corner of his eye. "What brings you here, Garfield?"

Beast Boy sighed. Always with the formality with this guy. "Yeah, um, Garth. I just wanted to talk to you about the upcoming election," he said and then started into his prepared lines. "I know I was once looked at within the group as someone who wasn't taken seriously but I hope that the change in my appearance and the role I played in overcoming the Brotherhood of Evil cause you to reconsider how-"

"Why are you speaking like that, Garfield?"

"I-I just want to seriously consider my candidacy for leader. In these times, we-"

"Oh, Garfield. Please don't speak like that to me. I heard you talking to Mas and Menos last week. You sounded silly. Besides, I mean you no disrespect but I'm going to vote for Richard."

"There's nothing I can say to change your mind?"

"I'm afraid not, Garfield. I . . please don't look so disappointed. You're an extremely handsome young man, more so than Richard. He made a mistake in the fight against the Brotherhood but even the best leaders make mistakes. It's a role he was born for. That doesn't mean you wouldn't be good at it but I think Richard is even better."

Beast Boy shook Aqualad's hand, thanked him and made his way out. As he was leaving the room, he thought he could hear Aqualad speaking softly to the fish in the aquarium again. " . . . I do not favor Puffer! How can you say that?"

He jumped back in the T-Jet and headed back to his home tower. There were only a couple more hard core Robin voters left to contact and he could do them at the same time. He knocked on their door. "It's open!" shouted Jinx. Beast Boy walked in and saw Jinx sitting in the sunny window, reading with a bottle of spf 70 sun screen next to her. Kid Flash was over in the corner sitting sideways across their leather chair, also reading.

"Hey Gar!"

"Hey Wally! Hey Jinx."

"Hey Gar."

"What brings you here? Hey, didja see that that 'Changeling' movie's due out on DVD's in a couple months?"

"Yeah. Piece of crap. Didn't even have an actual changeling in it. I felt so cheated. Worst seven fifty I ever spent. But that's not what I'm here for. I wanted to talk to you guys about the election."

Jinx rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Jinx. I'm serious."

She marked her page and closed her book. "Gar. You're taller than him. You're better looking. You're more fun to be around. But he's a born leader. Even if you would be good at it, it's . . well, it's his life. It's all he does. It's kind of sick to take advantage of his obsessiveness. But he is the way he is and it's perfect for us."

Kid Flash zipped over from the chair and wrapped Beast Boy in a hug for a few seconds before stepping back.

"He's my best friend Gar. And Jinx is right. It's him. It's what he does. It's nothing at all against you. We take you seriously, honest we do!" he said and added another hug before taking only a half step back. "You did great against the Brotherhood. Sometimes you have . . you have two good choices. Picking one isn't any denigration of the other."

He added one more hug. Beast Boy sighed as Kid Flash finally let him go. Wally could be so emo sometimes! He thanked them and left. Back at his room, Speedy was waiting.

"Where've you been?"

"Getting hugs from Kid Flash."

There was a moment's pause and Beast Boy could tell Speedy was imagining himself in his place. "Mmm . . oh yeah, we need to make more visits to voters, especially, Bee supporters and the less committed Robin supporters."

"I just did 'em."

"What?"

"I just got back in the T-Jet. I just did 'em. Wonder Girl, Arrowette, Super Boy, Gnark, Kole, Pantha, Herald, Hot Spot, Bee herself even."

"Well, what about the other people we think are solid Robin votes maybe you can shake loose a few of them?"

"I visited them, too. Aqualad, Kid Flash, Jinx and a half dozen others. I've done all that."

"Without me?"

"I'm gonna have to lead without you. Besides, I don't need you around to make my pitch."

"Oh . . . okay." The teen archer seemed to visibly sag.

"Oh, god, Speedy. Don't look all depressed about it."

"I'm not depressed. I just thought we made a great team."

"We do. But I have to be in charge. I have to run things, okay? No more bossing me around. If you have more good ideas I'll be happy to act on them but that's the way it's gotta be, okay?"

Speedy nodded. "Sure, boss. I've got some new ideas."

"Me too."

For his part, Robin still couldn't quite shake the notion that the other Titans wouldn't seriously consider Beast Boy to replace him. He'd heard from Kid Flash that Beast Boy was going around visiting everyone, shaking hands and spouting prepared lines about why they should elect him. He sighed thinking of it at the Tower's communications center. That was probably the sort of thing you had to do in a campaign if people weren't sure about you, he decided. Then, out of the corner of his eye he saw it for the first time of many. The giant Tower tv screen suddenly turned on and showed an image of dozens of little kids in identical t-shirts emblazoned with the simple message "BB08!" on a hillside, singing.

"Beast Boy's gonna change it,

he's gonna rearrange it,

Beast Boy's gonnnnnna lead!"

The song went on for a minute as an incredulous Boy Wonder puzzled at what the hell the relvance of the stupid song was and why anyone should listen to little grade schoolers about who should be the leader of anything.

And that was just the first time. To Robin's complete exasperation, the ad played over and over, a couple times each hour right up to the election, so much so that the stupid song got into his head and he heard children's voices warbling "Beast Boy's gonnnnnnna lead!" everywhere he went.

But that was only a small part of Beast Boy's campaign. In addition to what Speedy called a 'feel good piece', there was an attack ad. The evening after first hearing the children's chorus for Beast Boy, Robin was typing some revisions to case files at the communications center when he heard Beast Boy's voice booming out from the giant TV, "I'm Beast Boy and I approve this message."

He spun around on his chair.

"What?!"

There followed an ad with stirring background music and a voiceover narration from one of the voices you always hear in movie previews that began "In a world . . ". It contrasted Robin's messing up the fight against the Brotherhood of Evil with Beast Boy's leading the Titans comeback. A humiliating image taken from the Brotherhood's security cameras of Robin frozen in place, was contrasted with dynamic footage of Beast Boy rallying the remaining Titans and leaping toward Madame Rouge. There was another image of a humiliated, frozen Robin and then Beast Boy sprinting into action.

Robin was taken aback that Beast Boy would fight for the leader's spot like this. And this ad, too, played over and over leading up to the day of the election, not just on the main TV in both towers, but it was also sent as a message to every Titan's communicator.

And then, there was the steady drumbeat of Titans TV reports. Beast Boy leading 52 percent to 48 percent! Beast Boy leading 55 percent to 45 percent! Beast Boy! Beast Boy! Beast Boy!

It was unfair! Argent was totally favoring Beast Boy! Totally! Robin wrote a computer program to review the Titans TV coverage of the election and how many positive things had been said about him versus how many positive things had been said about Beast Boy. He brought it up when Argent interviewed him for Titans TV. She asked him how he felt about the polls showing him trailing Beast Boy. She asked him what part of Beast Boy's message did he think had been appealing to Titans voters. And then when he tried to bring up her bias in favor of Beast Boy, she told him they were out of time.

The whole situation was fraying Robin's nerves, even before he noticed the low level, viral campaign started. The offices of the nearest building across the bay from Titans Tower were lit up so that the offices with lights on at night spelled out "BB08" night after night. The same thing was true of the skyscraper closest to East's tower. Little "BB08!" stickers started appearing everywhere, sometimes in the most surprising places.

Aqualad, Speedy and Wonder Girl were all visiting Titans Tower the day before Robin and Beast Boy were to debate. Aqualad came into the kitchen for breakfast.

"You've got something on your butt," said Raven pouring tea as Aqualad stepped onto the tile floor.

Aqualad twisted around and saw that the dark blue rear of his unitard was dotted with little "BB08!" stickers. He sighed in exasperation and tried to pull them off but there were so many. He quickly gave up as the other Titans all chuckled.

"You, uh, picked up on that right away, didn't you Raven?" noted Speedy.

The gray skinned sorceress actually visibly blushed, causing more chuckles. A few minutes later, Jinx came into the kitchen followed by Kid Flash.

He was just a step onto the tile when Raven got his attention. "You have stickers all over your-" Raven stiffened and put one hand over her mouth as the others laughed. At first, Kid Flash thought they were laughing at him as he twisted around noticing all the "BB08!" stickers on the red backside of his unitard. But all the attention was actually on Raven.

"He wasn't in her sight more than a second!" laughed Cyborg.

"Targeted advertising," said Beast Boy, at whom a blushing Raven shot an angry glance.

"That is where to put the messages to make sure friend Raven sees them,"chuckled Starfire.

Finally, Wonder Girl strode into the kitchen and Cyborg, Kid Flash and Aqualad all started to point toward her bust which had somehow become covered with "BB08!" stickers. All three pulled their hands back and adopted the same pensive hand on chin expression as a moment later everyone burst into laughter.

But, even if some elements of the Beast Boy campaign were sort of frivolous, the other Titans had come to regard the prospect of his becoming leader as very real by the time he and Robin squared off in a debate at Titans Tower. Some more auxiliary Titans flew in for the occasion till there were nearly 30 in attendance. The debate took place at 8 pm in the great room with the background of a darkened sky outside. Raven served as moderator and asked a series of questions chosen randomly from among a pool of them that she, Jinx, Kid Flash, Speedy and Hot Spot had written out.

It was an odd debate. From the beginning, it seemed superfluous that Robin and Beast Boy were even in the same place. They didn't seem to be answering the same questions even though they were. In response to one question, Robin gave a 17 point answer, nearly putting the other Titans to sleep till they finally heard him say "And, seventeenthh and last . . " before explaining how using a certain wash cycle in the Tower laundry more often would save up to 0.8 percent on the Tower's energy use.

But, where Robin responded to every question with a mind numbing blizzard of different details, Beast Boy responded to every question the same way, and with no details. I'm not an insider. Change. When we began this campaign two weeks ago, down on the 13th floor . . .

Jinx was amazed at Beast Boy's discipline in not really answering. She muttered to Kid Flash on her left, "That was totally unresponsive!"

Speedy, to her right, sighed like a proud parent. "He's so coachable!"

Robin and Beast Boy shook hands at the end of the debate and everyone clapped. Robin felt certain that he'd kicked the changeling's green ass. He hadn't said anything the whole debate. Nothing. He was shocked, the next day, when Titans TV reported that their polling was showing that Beast Boy had widened his lead after the debate. Robin called Argent on her communicator demanding to know if there wasn't some mistake. No mistake, she told him. Beast Boy's up 57.5 percent to your 42.5 percent.

Robin slumped down into the chair at his desk. How?

And then Beast Boy's children's chorus ad played on his communicator. Robin found himself screaming at the device in his hand "Gonna change what?! Gonna rearrange what?! Say something specific about something, please! Aaarrrggghhh!!"

The next day, he walked around the Tower going about his business as usual, noting the occasional snicker from the others but not realizing till 8 pm that there was a foot high BB08! sticker on the back of his cape. He found a pamplet "The Audacity of Green", a puff piece bio of Beast Boy at his door and looking down the hall saw one at every other door. Inside his room, he checked his communicator for messages and gritted his teeth as another Beast Boy ad, featuring the slogan, "Beast Boy! Change You Can Count On!" played.

How was this happening, wondered Robin. Why does campaigning even matter? Don't they care about everything I've done?

It took a long time for Robin to get past his anger and confusion to his normal, in control, goal oriented frame of mind. He thought long and hard about things, about the campaign and about Beast Boy. Finally, he got up from the desk in his room and went down the hall to Beast Boy's room. He knocked twice hard. Beast Boy opened the door expecting Speedy with some last minute campaign suggestion to get some sort of edge in the voting the next day. Instead, he saw Robin. Beast Boy gulped. The two of them faced each other for a moment without speaking. He knew the shorter Boy Wonder had reason to be upset about how his campaign was portraying him. He expected angry words, maybe a demand that Beast Boy retract some statement.

Instead Robin shocked him by stepping forward and awkwardly hugging him. Beast Boy was startled. Robin then directed them both to go inside Beast Boy's room. He took a chair and sat it down near Beast Boy's bed where the green changeling sat.

"It . . looks like you're going to be our leader tomorrow, Gar. So I thought we should talk."

Beast Boy said nothing, just stared, uncertain of where Robin was going with this.

"The seven of us in the team, the Titans in East and the auxiliary members all need you to hit the ground running. Someone could be hurt of even killed if the Titans aren't ready for whatever villains throw at us. You know all the attack formations we run but being leader's different from being another team member. It's kind of like being quarterback and coach instead of just another player. As leader, you'll have to stay back a little more to call out formations and to coordinate our responses to what villains do in a fight. But, with me not being leader, I can do a lot more reconnaissance work, scouting and fighting at the front of the team. Just keep some things in mind as you choose formations. For instance, you have to let Jinx and Kid Flash fight close by, because they always check to make sure the other's okay. If they're far apart, like if you call for scorpion formation with him in the #7 position and her the #1, they end up fighting distracted because they can't see each other. And he doesn't fight that well until one of us is hit. It's . . it's just the way he is. Starfire tends to be that way too."

Robin went on for a half hour about the particular strengths and weaknesses of all the team members and how best to deploy them. Beast Boy listened intently to what he said but slowly, in the back of his mind an incredulous reaction was building. This is his life! This is his entire life and he's coaching me on how to take over for him! He's not sulking about being treated unfairly by his friends and teammates. He's pushing that down and doing what's best for the team.

Robin went on to talk about how careful Beast Boy would have to be when interacting with the Jump City Police, Interpol, the FBI, NSA, CIA and other law enforcement groups. "They're predisposed to look on us as stupid, irresponsible kids, Gar, so we have to be more on top of things than them. We have to know their regulations better than they do. We have to know all the protocols better than they do. We're Titans. We have to be the best."

Finally Robin stood up, Beast Boy followed suit and Robin stepped forward with another awkward hug.

"I didn't think you liked to do this," said Beast Boy.

Robin stepped back and looked sheepishly downward.

"I . . well, Wally kind of sold me on doing it now and then. People like it, don't they?"

"Yeah, they do."

"I just . . . I wanted to tell you that I'm-I'm sorry I didn't see how much you've grown . . in every way," smiled Robin looking up at the taller changeling, "from when we first met. The job you did against the Brotherhood of Evil was fantastic. But maybe people don't like to sort of recalibrate how they look at people. I'm sorry if I haven't given you the credit you deserved, Gar. I never meant to be unfair to you. I-"

Robin tried to continue but now Beast Boy was hugging him. "Dude, you've been a great leader. Nothin' to be sorry for!" he mumbled against Robin's shoulder.

Finally, the two separated and Robin started for the door telling Beast Boy to remember everything he'd told him about how to best use his teammates.

Beast Boy sat back down on his bed as the door shut behind the Boy Wonder. His eyes were almost tearing. He tried to imagine being in Robin's place and putting his last minute efforts into preparing someone who would take his place. He sighed and reached for his communicator. He and Speedy had planned out a series of last minute calls to all the Titans asking for their vote the next day.

Voting began just after midnight. Red Star was in Siberia, nearly 12 hours ahead of them and was voting at noon his time. It had been set up that Titans could vote through their communicator by pressing a certain sequence of buttons and then adding a voice signature. "Red Star, voting", said the auxiliary Titan after pressing the sequence. His vote would still be anonymous but his voice signature could be confirmed to show that he'd been the one entering it.

Raven and Cyborg were in charge of tabulating the results. But they didn't really pay much attention till after lunch. Everyone was surprised at breakfast how completely calm Robin was. And contrasting that, Beast Boy seemed frantic. Kid Flash asked him why he was so uptight considering he was solidly ahead in the polls but Beast Boy just waved him off. He kept trying to reach auxiliary Titans on his communicator even as he wolfed down tofu.

When night time came, the two candidates had two separate parties planned. Beast Boy had let Speedy plan his party.

They could hear the booming sound system in the small side room that was being used for Robin's election night party. Between trays offering wheatgrass juice and bran muffins, Aqualad, Jinx and Kid Flash were playing scrabble.

"And I have the triple word score. That's 96 points," grinned the Atlantean.

Kid Flash sighed, looking at the wall separating their "party" from the Beast Boy party.

"How did Speedy get Lil' Wayne to show up for this? That's what I want to know," grumbled Jinx.

The door to the room opened and Lil' Wayne's biggest hit came booming into the room as Starfire entered and then just the bass line came through as she closed the door.

"What's going on out there?" asked Jinx.

"Now they are doing the jello shots off the, what is the earth word? Oh yes, the cleavage of the female models brought in by Speedy for the male Titans, off the abdominal muscles of the male models for the female Titans and hehe, both for friend Speedy," said Starfire with her typical nod of the head.

"Is it almost time," said Robin from the corner of the room.

Just as earlier in the day, he seemed to have completely resigned himself to his loss and mentally moved on. He seemed perfectly relaxed.

Jinx flipped open her communicator. "Seven fifty eight," she pronounced. That was close enough. The hard core Robin supporters left his party and went out into the nearly deafening noise of the party. Just as they did, Raven was making her way to the microphone. There were a few moments of confusion as Lil' Wayne seemed upset that she was going to interrupt his performance. He turned away from the microphone making it hard to hear exactly what he said but the word "bitch" seemed to have been part of it. A black hand of energy then grabbed Lil' Wayne and carried him out an open window holding him by one foot 14 stories above the rocks at the edge of the island. Again, his specific words were hard to make out but "sorry" seemed to be one of them. The black hand of energy pulled him back into the building but he seemed to have urgent need for a bathroom and didn't hang around for the reading of the election results.

As thirty some Titans of various statuses moved in toward the temporary stage, Kid Flash found himself next to Robin.

"Beast Boy was making calls like crazy last night and this morning," he told his friend.

Robin sighed. Of course. It's just what Beast Boy should do to win the election. He said nothing but puzzled at how Kid Flash was smiling. He didn't know what to make of Kid Flash proceeding to hug him and seeming, somehow happy for him. It was so hard to figure out emotional people sometimes.

"Okay," said Raven. "Now that that's out of the way. I'm going to read off the results. And I want you to know that Cyborg and I double checked these and triple checked and even called a couple Titans whose names we won't divulge to confirm that the results really are what we're going to report."

She sighed.

"Okay, the votes are," the drummer in the band behind her started a drumroll, "Forty votes for Robin and zero votes for Beast Boy."

The room filled with shouts of "What?!", "Oh my god!" etc.

Robin stood there perplexed. Finally, Beast Boy stepped through the crowd and hugged him as shouts continued all around.

"Dude," he whispered in his ear. "When you came to my room and prepped me for being leader, when all you cared about was the team instead of the election, well, that showed that you're the guy who should be leader. Since then I've been calling everyone telling them to vote for you."

Beast Boy stepped back and the room filled with shouts of "Speech! Speech!"

Robin stepped slowly up to the micropone on the stage.

"I don't know quite what to say."

"Just don't say it in 17 parts!" shouted Jinx from the back of the crowd to great laughter.

"I-I know that sometimes I'm not very sensitive and I don't always have the nicest management style-"

There were joking responses of "Nooooooo!" in various parts of the crowd and laughter all around.

"-but I'm honored that you would choose me to be your leader and I'll do my best to give all of you the leadership you deserve."

Cheers filled the room.

Robin stepped down from the stage and back over to Beast Boy. "Thank you," he said softly.

"This is who we are. The Teen Titans, led by Robin," said Beast Boy.

Robin nodded slowly. The others all felt quite certain that behind his mask his eyes were teary.

"Now, if I could just get this damn BB08! sticker off the back of my cape!" he said spinning it around to show the others. They all laughed and patted his back and things were back to normal.


End file.
